He’s just not that into you
“He’s totally going to call you back,” Annabel responded instantaneously, almost like a Pavlovian response that automatically gets triggers soon as she says “why does this always happen to me.” A Sarah continues to describe her latest dating woes, Annabel’s brain starts to tune out and drifts to her Trader Joe’s shopping list.
Her close friend, Sarah is a smart, prude girl, who craves excitement, but most of the time too timid to actually act on it. She’s hesitant, reserved, and constantly yearn for something different that someone else has. Having recently entered her mid 20s, Sarah has felt the pressure hit from all directions as the pile of wedding invitations, bridal showers stack up on her table; and pictures of smiling happy couples in engagement photos covers her fridge. This ever growing feeling that everyone has someone to lean on, coming in duo to parties and leaving together to have hot steaming sex, as they do in movies (of course), has her on edge constantly.
Her last relationship lasted 3 months. Actually, it might not entirely be fair to call it a relationship, because it was more like a irregular clandestine hook up where she questioned ‘why am I here;’ and when I should ask him the last time he was tested for STD. It was odd; and he painted her as a wild exotic girl, quite the polar opposite of her actual self. But those hook ups mildly scratched an itch. And it ended when she finally found the courage to officially label their relationship – friends with hook-ups, with a request to do it on a more regular basis. He ghosted her.
To move on from this disappointing and unsatisfactory, unclear end, Sarah recently took to the scene of online dating and became acquainted with a man/boy, or it is boy/man named Chris. Chris was a vanilla guy, nothing flagged immediately ‘run away’ on the first date. They picked a typical wine bar, dimly lit in the lower east side; they spoke about the last travel that was on par with the latest Instagram trend, and he picked up the check at the end of the meal. From what she gathered from the conversation, there’s a 15% chance that his bed is not just a mattress off the floor, relatively stable boring job with a decent finance discipline not to accumulate exorbitant unnecessary interest expense, and has a relatively normal familial relationships with parents and friends. Chris didn’t particular give off the vibe of a player, but he was a single straight man living in new York who was not ugly or short. So the cards are in his hand, despite his averageness, and this particular island has plenty pickings easily for his choosing.
The rest of the evening was uneventful, they parted ways at the subway station, and it officially ended with a polite full body hug. Sarah spend the rest of the subway ride home recapping the entire dinner conversation, trying to reassure herself that she presented well at dinner, with some witty come backs, thoughtful questions, and occasional droppings a women who’s sophisticated, cultured, and chastising herself for a few awkward hiccups. In terms of self-score, Sarah concluded it was a solid 80%.
The following day, she eager waited for the obligatory text that hopefully confirmed this, but increments of 4 hours passes and the message notification remains quiet. By the end of the day, she had opened the message app, and just stared at the green bubbles, hoping that her intensity alone will generate a response. The last conversation had been: “I’m here.”
